My Brother

Saturday night we recieved devastating news that my oldest brother, Ryan, was killed in a car accident. My heart is so full of sadness, of good memories, of images of him, and of the moments when he blessed my life by being a true BROTHER. I feel that if I don't write down some of these memories, I might lose them, so here it goes...

My earliest memories are of him in boxer shorts rocking out to Guns and Roses, with air guitar in hand. He was 8 years older than me and so I think I've always been his very "little" sister, even now at 27. He had a contagious smile and is noted by that one feature more than any other. He was called "Iceman" after Val Kilmer's character in Top Gun, because he looked so similar to him. He was always with friends and always laughing. I always felt "special" to him, because he had a nickname for me - "Skipper" like Barbie's little sister - and I never questioned his love for me!

Most of my memories however occurred later in life, when I moved down to Utah to attend BYU. It is here that I felt like I connected with him the most. He was always the caregiver to me. He invited Shawn and I over for Sunday dinner nearly every week - which he by the way always cooked. He was an incredible cook. When Shawn and I were first married, he came over and hooked up our cable for us (since he had been a cable guy before). He always took Shawn and I water skiing with his sweet little family, and we loved watching him ski. One night we went to Deer Creek Reservior and went night skiing using GLo-sticks. His glo-stick fell out of his life jacket and so we thought he had dropped - but did that stop him for hanging on? Not once second. He always treated us to dinner and I really loved spending time with him and his family.

I remember him helping us move from Utah back to Idaho and then packing up to head out to Iowa. He was always there to help. I don't know one time in my life when he wasn't there to give a hand. He was always laughing and telling a funny story, but was not a man of many words. He had a great love for his family and for his friends.

My heart aches for his sweet family. Lisa, Christine, Nathan, Lauren, Madelyn, and Charlie are all doing well. They are hurting, but they know that he lives in heaven. I too am so grateful for my knowledge and testimony of the plan of salvation. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for a loving Savior who made it possible for us to repent, to return to live with our Heavenly Father, and to be ressurrected. It is only through that continuous atonement that we can become more like our Savior and Father in Heaven, and that we can all be together as a family forever. I am grateful for priesthood that binds us to together as families for time and ALL Eternity! I am grateful for my brother Ryan, for his love, for his life, for influence for good, and his example of being a true friend. He will be greatly missed. Ryan I love you!